one percent away | django #1 | magnum jazz combo | django #2 | i.v. dogs | magnum family | lag
animal liberation orchestra #1 (iv) | blag buffet | alo #2 (sf) | alo #3 (current)

In order to talk about Santa Barbara's L.A.G., it is necessary to talk about the group's lead singer, accordionist, and spokesman Zach Gill. Unfortunately, Mr. Gill is not an easy man to talk about: a shadowy and mysterious figure, this musical mastermind leads a life of subterfuge, keeping his whereabouts and true identity a secret, only appearing in public for performances. Rumors abound: a former C.I.A. operative? a terrorist gone underground? Or is he merely a sensitive soul ill at ease amid the hustle and bustle of modern life...

So instead of talking about Mr. Gill, we'll discuss the group's bassist Steve Adams, who is polite, handsome, never known to drink or smoke to excess, a real hit with the ladies due to his courteous demeanor, and a man whose bad habits, if there be any, remain a secret.

No discussion of the group is complete without mention of the group's guitarist Dan Lebowitz. The path which led this young man to the city of Santa Barbara and into the band is a tortuous one. He was undecided whether he wanted to attend UC Santa Barbara. So he asked someone's advice, and the person said he should go. Then he asked a second person, but that person said he should not go. Then he asked a third person, but that person said he should go. Then someone else said something. Then someone else said something else. Then there was a loud noise and nobody could hear a word anyone said. Then the plates were cleared. Then everyone was bored, so they all went to the mall and bought hundreds of clothes.

Now we've talked about the band: the time has come to talk about the tour. L.A.G. will be traveling throughout the United States with their acoustic buffet this summer. Now we've talked about the tour: the time has come to talk about me. My name is Jon Lebowitz, I am a writer. I hope to write so well that one day people will be amazed, and say to me: you are amazing! Then I will be famous, and I'll be able to die happy. But now I have to go, for it's late, and I'm tired, and I'm hung over from a disappointing party I attended last night.